Sometimes there are events in life that force someone to actually get out into the world and maybe even into a line of work that would rather avoid. So this vaguely describes my present circumstances. I have NOT been forced out on to the streets in search of prospective work on any street corner in search of provocative and cheap labor which would compromise my morality and not to mention hygiene but I have ventured into a similar field. It is known to many as substitute teaching.

I always had conflicted feelings about this profession. I had even more conflicting opinions when the first step in the process of becoming a substitute after being hired is to have a background check that costs the employee $50 prior to their earning a dollar. I couldn’t understand the cost of going into a tiny office to have my picture taken and fingers printed for a total of five minutes. I felt in that instance like I was the whore that was left with pockets empty and the services rendered failing to meet expectations.

Since my primary reason for seeking out this job (that from my experience as a student) was going to be less than a cake walk in terms of pay and maybe even the experience I knew what I was expecting, however I also knew that it was one of those jobs that in this economy I could acquire with more ease.

Orientation was between three and four hours of interesting lecture that lead me to believe that anything less than professional attire was inacceptable. However when I saw teachers who dressed like that had been lounging around the sofa most of the day instead of in a professional setting this influenced the way I decided to dress. Of course this didn’t apply to everyone, but I made the decision I was not going to wear heels to every assignment especially if I would have to travel up and down stairs during the day. It was beyond logic to me. In fact the notion of wearing shoes with a heel that exceeds two inches evades reason to me.

In the unpaid orientation which was a collection of retired teachers seeking work (out of the pure joy of teaching or the need for work since retirement isn’t what it used to be), college students like me (seeking work that is convenient and maybe enlightening about teaching for those considering the route), and ordinary people who at minimum graduated high school and could use the extra money particularly when they want to jump from parent volunteer to PAID.

Power point presentations are the standard and one of the presenters an abundantly enthusiastic teacher explaining how she introduced herself to the classroom and gained authority and respect from her prospective students. As inventive and articulate her explanation was in explaining how to gain the respect of the students it also did not apply to every class. You can’t talk to a 7^th grader the way you would talk to a third grader. She didn’t seem genuine and this I picked up as an adult in her audience. I didn’t want to listen to her or believe her just sitting there and I was supposed to believe she was an expert.

Prior to substituting I had my own expectations about what I would be doing. In my mind I thought that I would always be substituting for the teacher I signed up for and that there would always be some kind of lesson plan. I may have had my own brief hopeful expectations of grandeur concerning my first opportunity to substitute for any English class.

I imagined being nervous of course I would be and having students enter the room quietly and me discovering the teacher failed to leave lesson plans for the middle school children so I begin writing out on the board an exercise that would make them gain perspective in life. At the very least I imagined helping them decide that they want to do something powerful with their lives instead of just allowing opportunity to pass them by. Of course even this effort of good virtue was beyond reason and rooted in naiveté.

 And of course of all these preconceptions were killed almost instantly and without effort. One I had this 7^th grader who thought she was Nikki Minaj rapping in what was supposed to be a history class. She had written her lyrics (which weren’t Grammy award winning by any standards) and proceeded to vocalize her work to her audience of about four or five in the back. As many times I told her to get started on her work she did not. Her friends looked at me as if I was harmless. They could see that I probably would not do anything or if I would, I would have acted by now. They were right. I measured the time on the clock against how much patience I had against the number of students who were actually doing their work and I chose not to make a big deal of it. The class period would be over in a short time and I had plenty of patience (at least enough to await the sound of that bell) and some of the students were doing their work and I did not want them to get behind because a handful of students did not want to do their work. The cost wasn’t worth it.

 I already took issue with the assignment. There was a handout with a list of historical definitions referencing slavery and women’s’ suffrage. It was the end of the school year and some of these 7^th and 8^th graders did not know what women’s suffrage meant. They didn’t know who Harriet Tubman was. It was more than disappointing. They had to fill in blanks by reading a power point that had the answers within it..and not cleverly disguised. I would have never taught a class this way. I worry for the students in many ways because I feel that in the particular district in which I work the students are not getting a good quality education and they don’t seem to care about learning. A student who seemed intelligent (for a sixth grader) and nice told me she did not want to go to college. I couldn’t understand it. College is not like middle school or high school and I think kids think that the thought of going to school four more years is too painful. Students are not being taught the importance of gaining knowledge. It is the key to everything (and not to risk sounding like a minister) it is the only way to get anywhere and out of the poverty many of the students thrive in.

I also began to realize that there was not a real expectation for me to teach. It’s more of a make sure the kids don’t set a fire, kill each other, or lord forbid go behind the teacher’s desk. It’s basically a behavioral management sort of deal for middle school and high school adolescents. So many substitutes spend their time yelling at the students to get them in line. So many teachers do the same thing, but then they forget to teach them anything. I don’t get paid enough to scream at anyone. In the end screaming serves no one well, not the teacher or the student. The student just gets the idea that they have unacceptable behavior but they also need an explanation. I also have found that there are numerous students who are hyper and it isn’t entirely their fault that they act in the way that they do but I also have noticed that this problem goes unaddressed or brought to the attention of the parent.